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Decisions

May 17th, 2007 at 08:53 pm

We have hit a decision time or feel like we have. We want more kids. We are going to adopt them as we are a bit old for the other way. We have been on the list for over a year for a local special needs adoption. So far while our case study has been submitted several times we have not been given a child or children. Part of the problem there is we want a young child (our DS2 is almost 4 and we prefer he be the oldest or close to it. So we can
1) Continue to hold our breath every time our case study is submitted
2) Try foster care but then you have the heartbreak of having to return the child and sometimes you are returning them to a bad environment. And there is no guarentee you will ever get one that is adoptable.
3)Try an overseas adoption which is lots of money although we could get a discount on the international case study since we have one done for the US so that drops the price by a thousand. Which makes it "only" 12 to 15 thousand. We would have to borrow that much to do it but then we would be able to get one or two children that are young and the waiting would have an end probably by the end of the year or beginning of next year. Unfortunately we don't have enough equity in th ehouse to get that much by doing a second mortgage or it would already be done. Wish I had a rich friend I'd borrow it!
The other option is to stop now but we don't want to go that route.
I guess I am feeling more frustrated because this month is th eanniversary of when our case study was finished and while our names have been submitted a few times nothing has come of any of it.
I have a 4 bedroom house and I'd like to decorate a couple of them for kids!

Posted in Goals | 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Decisions”

  1. nance Says:
    May 17th, 2007 at 09:43 pm 1179438236
    1179438236

    It might be easier for your four year old to remain the youngest, rather than having babies or toddlers enter the family. Have you checked with Social Services about "Foster/Adopt" kids. They have kids, whose parental rights have already been terminated, to place. Some of them are pretty young. I worked as a caseworker, in child protection, for nearly 10 years, and there is a real need for families to adopt kids in foster care. I had a foster family who adopted their last child ( a one-year old) when they were sixty. They had adopted five or six children of various ages over a ten year period. Another famly adopted six foster children, and had six biological children. You don't have to pay to adopt foster children, and often, you are paid a monthly subsidy until the children are adults. Also, they can stay on Medicaid to pay for medical needs, therapy, etc. Some of these children are fine, and some are are "unattached" (Reactive Attachment Disorder) and can be very difficult. You have to know what you are dealing with with these children, that is why fostering for a while can be a good thing.

  2. monkeymama Says:
    May 17th, 2007 at 10:01 pm 1179439302
    1179439302

    I don't know but my dh's cousin can not bear children, and of course they wanted a ton of kids. They did foster care and the first child they got (newborn - their first week or so fostering) they have officially adopted after just 1 year. Were they really just that lucky??? I know it must be hard though, to know that you may not get to keep the child. But they do need good homes. & they paid for most of the expenses, etc. It really seems a good way to go. The child they received had many special needs (crack baby, etc.). OF course the other child they have they adopted from a neighbor over a decade ago. I know as bad as they want kids, the powers that be have other plans for them as they have done so well raising a child with many issues to work past, and now they are working on another one. IF nothing else, going for a special needs angle you should have a better chance of keeping the child, going young. (I wonder if this was foster/adopt program in this case).

    I guess my whole point of all this is you may want to give fostering a try. If it is too much, it is too much. You can always change your mind later.

    I also know quite a few people who adopted oevrseas. It does have its pluses.

    Oh good luck. Talk about decisions!

  3. daylily Says:
    May 17th, 2007 at 11:02 pm 1179442928
    1179442928

    Although the overseas option may seem expensive, it may be the quickest way. Plus, you can take up to a $10000 tax credit for the qualified expenses incurred in the adoption.
    I wish you success in whatever route you proceed with.

  4. contrary1 Says:
    May 18th, 2007 at 01:32 am 1179451954
    1179451954

    I'd vote for the foster to adopt too. I was one of our local recruiters for this program last year and without having current figures in front of me, I'd say most of the kids placed were adopted. States are getting much more progressive about pushing for kids to be adoptable & not leaving them in the system forever.
    Our states foster to adopt program holds the costs down to between $700 and $1000 per child. Pretty good compared to other programs where it seems like you should be purchasing the entire country for what it costs for one child.

    Receiving care and/or respite care is another way to fill up your house, and help kids at the same time. Some of these kids will end up on the adoptable roles too. Receiving care is doing emergency care when there are no permenant foster homes available, and respite care assists foster homes by taking their kids when they need a break or have medical or emergency situations.

    Good luck with your decision whatever way you go.

  5. Amber Says:
    May 18th, 2007 at 02:55 am 1179456942
    1179456942

    I know that overseas adoption are quick but I just hate the fact that there are so many children in the U.S. who could use a geat home, I wish you luck in what ever you decide

  6. homebody Says:
    May 18th, 2007 at 03:45 pm 1179503125
    1179503125

    A christian singer who adopted from China started a fund to help people with the costs of adoption. I just can't remember who it was...Johanna's hope is the name of the fund.

    http://members.shaohannahshope.org/site/PageServer

    Here it is found it! Bless you.

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